Raw Consciousness

MY LIFE - yes I am alive...

But very very busy. Super busy. Godo thing: I have lost about 14-16 pounds. Bowflex + Yoga is working. Yeah, I am doing Yoga twice a week. Details later.

MY LIFE - edited...

Yup, I did. I changed the wording. I forgot this may be a family program.

It has been super stressfull this week. Very very stressfull. Tons of work, tons to do's and barely any reinforcement for doing stuff that needs to get done, but it's not one of those "oh wow, the colors and fades now look so pretty" feedback tasks. Oh well.

MY LIFE - God umm something..[edited].

I think I lost my phone. This is not cool. In the last year I have lost (stolen) an iRiver 512 megs flash ram mp3 model and now my Sanyo phone. This is my ONLY phone. And the only place that now I have come to realize, have all the contact information to everyone.

God darn it. [ edited ]

I just used it last Wednesday and have never seen it since. I thought it would surely be in my car or at work but I could not find it today. I wonder if I accidentally threw it away. Well I really need a phone so I will probably have to buy one at Costco tomorrow morning.

YES, I LOVE TO THROW AWAY MONEY LIKE THIS. Not.

Damnit

MY LIFE- politics, "that's because you are a democrat."

I chuckle when I hear this because though I am defintively voting democrat in the upcoming elections, I am hardly a hardcore democrat. But yet this is the accusation I often get when I get to talk to a nice republican right wingie.

And then I heard and read this today. As you can see Ron Reagan, Ronald Reagan's son, is not happy at all with the Bush administration, and he's a republican. Oh, how can you explain that now? Is he going to hell too for disagreeing?

This quote in particular caught my eye:

Last year, in an interview with the online magazine Salon, Mr. Reagan renewed his critique, making clear his distaste for the Bush administration

"The Bush people have no right to speak for my father, particularly
because of the position he's in now," Mr. Reagan said then. "Yes,
some of the current policies are an extension of the 80's. But the
overall thrust of this administration is not my father's - these
people are overly reaching, overly aggressive, overly secretive and
just plain corrupt. I don't trust these people."

Wow. That's quite the ringing endorsement you want of a republican about the current Bush administration huh?

DIGITAL PHOTOGRAPHY- church school photo...

I don't know why exactly but I like this photo a lot:

MY LIFE - knack, blessing or curse?

Today it happened again. I went to an art exhibition of a gay artist and it was a pretty interesting exhibit. For some reason I expected more paintings but looking back, really, it all is a lot of work. Some paintings were downright superb and of course there was quite a share of male erotica mixed with what seemed to me to be Catholic religion... very good stuff. We were joking that perhaps the males needed to be younger (yeah, low shot at Catholics )....

And then there *HE* was. I saw him at first and he looked kinda between cute and handsome but not many things crossed my mind except "ok, this is one of those 'pretty boys' - avoid." But then we managed to talk, and then continued talking and talking that at some point the other guys moved to the other side of the place, while it was us two, only, talking and talking..

And the conversation was interesting...

And... my "on the fence" feelings about him all of a sudden transformed into this "wow, you ARE REALLY Nice.. damn and ... your non verbal communication mixed with your green-gray yes.. and .. damn you are kinda.. HOT actually but HOT in a handsome playful cute way.. GRRR.. and... we are.. talking "

And so we continued talking more.. A graphic designer... and has done some programming.. and has a very different view on American culture (different view from the < stdamerican.h > that is ... And he seemed all excited and passionate in his expressions, in his manner of talking, and smiles, and...

STRAIGHT.

GOD DAMNIT I swear to God, I do have a knack for attracting wonderfully playfull, nice, good looking, creative and emotional straight males types... I really can't complain too much... it's certainly better than being thrown in a pick up truck and being pistol-whipped in the middle of nowhere.

I also came to realize that the artist of the exhibition liked this guy A LOT and they were very close friends. It's amazing that the gay guy went as far as saying "if he was gay, we would be mine" and you know grab his neck, and tease him physically while he just laughed. Very tolerant. You know, str8 and gay males really getting along and having fun at the differences and similarities of both camps, particularly when one is attracted at the other.... It's like full accepting the compliment and amused by the attention in a playfull way.

I have seen this before... I have had such a relationship with the only str8 guy on Earth I once fell in love with. And if you happen to be reading this, yeah, if you were gay, you would still be mine :-P

Funny I could recognize the dynamics but if my experience would be the "puertorrican version", this would be the "american version" of the same movie.

Anyhow, my point is... I am glad I realized he was str8 fairly quickly, relatively speaking because damn... he looked like such a dream come true. But why do I get into these things so easily.. you know... getting along so damn well with this type. Hmm... anyway.

DIGITAL PHOTOGRAPHY - E3 photos- before you ask...

I am sure some questions will surface about this album so here's a quick preemptive strike of answers:

Q: "You used your Fuji F700. I thought you bought an F710.. is the F700 better?"

A: No, I just didn't have the F710 by the time E3 hit. The camera hadn't arrived from Japan yet, but I did get it at the end of the week.

Q: "Hmm no Xbox booth shots?"

A: No, I actually didn't go to the Xbox booth. Yeah I should have gone, but I didn't so... I didn't expect to see anything that woudl really catch my eye and from what I heard, so it is.

Q: "No pictures of the Nintendo DS?"

A: Nintendo had it only in a room, you have to make this big ass 1 hour row to get in and I didn't feel like it.

Q: "That PSP in yellow looks kinda bland and not so nice.. how come you were raving about it?"

A: You need to see the one in black :-)

Q: "Is that true? You went to see the Phantom?"

A: Yes, I did. I was curious enough to see what was going on. So there you go, three Phantom booth shots.

Q: "Did you go to the Nvidia booth?"

A: I skipped on my mandatory Nvidia worship.. It just didn't occur to me they would have a big booth.. they were apparently showing some nice 3d "inside your TV" screen technology...

Q: "And what about the Sony E3 party?"

A: Believe it or not, the experience of driving into E3's LA that morning was so traumatic in my psyche (how does a 40 minute "round 1 big block in your car w/ traffic only to realize there's no parking there" sound to you?), I was so tired.. that I decided to give my invitation away to one of my co-workers, which he gladly took on. The thought of going back to LA and dive was too much to bear.

And I felt a bit blah the next day because everybody was talking about how great the party was and the view- apparently Sony changed their location for this year. That being said, if you have been to one Sony party, that may be enough (they are good, but it's the Disneland - I have seen this already - feeling).

Unless of course you love drinking. I have concluded the Sony Parties are engineered by design to make everyone drunk.

DIGITAL PHOTOGRAPHY - E3 2004 photos...

Looking at the photos, I am a bit ho-hum... I learned that to take well framed compositions on an E3 show where you want to run around seeing different things is *a lot* of work. So I think most photos here are really nothing special... anyway, I said I would post them so here they are.

MY LIFE - reference and perspective needed please!

This is a message to any native-born & raised "American" (US citizen)

If I sent an e-mail to several people that is work related and I mispell your last name ... so that your last name usually ends in al and I make the mistake of using twice in the e-mail nard at the end instead, do you consider this a capital offense? Does it offend you? Do you want another e-mail resent with the proper spelling to all those you sent the e-mail?

If this is so, why is this so offensive? Keep in mind this was just a mispell.

I just want to understand. This happened to me today and other than thinking "fuck, what a fucking primadona you are" (I won't mention what department was this, it wasn't programming and I'll leave it at that), I can't think of anything else.

Maybe in English this is too close to "retard?" I just want to understand and gain perspective.. it really doesn't mean much different between ernard and ernal. I thought the way I even mispelled was a famous French last name? Hell, maybe this individual hates the French....

MY LIFE - hell week

This week is going to be hell. So I officially break the champagne and make a toast.

There's an insane amount of work to be done in a short time. It's a bit intimidating in a way. Biggest consolation is working on a highly anticipated game and the stunts I will have to pull off.

This is the time were my camera starts talking to me...