Raw Consciousness

SOFT DEV - MS Managed .NETness...

I really don't have much experience with the .NET framework (yes, I think I'll dive in now), but I have done some cursory looks at code. To me the code looks way better that what MFC or plain vanilla win 32 are supposed to do -  of course, credit where credit is due, C# is highly influenced by Java. at The expense and price seems to be some loss of control (or apparently so) in how memory is managed.

It occured to me that for many applications on Windows, nodoby really cares about the later.  I played a bit with the latest Visual C# Express (aka Visual C# 2005 Standard Edition?) and there are some auto complete enchancements, refactoring aids and debugging aids that are just too cool.

So the real problem in my opinion is the .NET framework. The latest beta I think weights at 12x megabytes? (probably shorter in the release form).  That's way too much for anybody to download.

It occured to me that there could be a solution to this, but it will require Microsoft to invest in "making sure .NET is spread all over."  If Microsoft could strike a deal with Best Buy, Circuit City, Frys, Compusa that gives away say, the word processor inside the latest Works, or some free photo editing on CD - along with the .NET framework- this may at least help immensely to spread the .NET platform.

I find interesting that the very latest ATI video drivers do require the .NET framework installed to open its new n' shiny (tm) control panel.  So all hardcore games with LeetZ Ati cards will probably have the .NET framework installed, but that's not average Joe or Mary.  So if Microsoft wants this platform to be spread all over, I think it will have to give away something for free but that requires the .NET framework installation.

Otherwise, I honestly don't see .NET taking off for the next five years.  And five years is a very long time.

MY LIFE - Life is not....

LIFE IS NOT A SYMPATHY CONTEST.

I do very well to remember that, if only because the world around me doesn't necessarily want to make best friends with me. This is something that our senior year high school English teacher said ("La vida no es un concurso de simpatía").

Did something happen recently? No. Just that I just realize I do much better in life if I remember that.

VIDEO GAMES - World of Crack...

If Everquest has been dubbed "Ever Crack" I think World of Warcraft will be or can be dubbed "World of Crack."  I don't have experience playing Massive Multipe Online RPGS's (MMORPG's), but I did buy this game... I am such a Blizzard fanboy... but I truly *FEAR* this game.

Why? Well, I pretty much don't have a life at many times during the year as it is... this game will pretty much seal my fate in that direction. I bought the collector's edition only because I wanted the movies on DVD, extra art book, game soundtrack.  And I played a bit. 

The biggest surprise of all is HOW FAST and nice it plays on my laptop. That's 1024x768 w/ all Nvidia effects for you.  Hey, it has an Nvidia "The way it's meant to be played(tm)" kinda thing...
It also loads very fast. If I had to guess, I would guess that these guys must be managing their own memory quite well.

So played for a bit... I can see how the addiction can build... and as much as I would like to "go in" my commense says "no... be carefull, uninstall..." And that I probably will...

FILM - All About Eve

Before the collapse of my "just was kinda nice" relationship, my new ex recommended me I watch the movie "All About Eve" as a discussion that started from a reference that Spanish scriptwriter & director Pedro Almodóvar did in "All About My Mother" (Todo Sobre Mi Madre).  Some other people that have seen the movie highly recommended it too, and it just happens that when Titanic "tied with a famous movie for most Oscar nominations" All About Eve was that movie.

So I watched it recently and I was surprised that a black and white movie from the 1950 had such a great script.  I shouldn't really be surprised.. that was probably the time when a Hollywood Film meant FILM AS AN ART and not FILM as a way to create action figures, use the latest 3DS/Maya plug - ins and make more money.

VIDEO GAMES - Buyer's remorse...

Many people that know me, know very well I go through the cycle of "but cool stuff" and then pretty much immediately and perhaps even to the purchase event itself, I get INSTA-BUYER'S REMORSE™.

I believe I have improved on this issue in my life (my last Fuji japanese F710 camera and the very laptop I still own are good examples of ZERO buyer's remorse), but in more than half the ocassions I still get it.

So today after being pumped up from some conversations with co-workers and seeing that little new machine itself, I went with them and we all three bought a Nintendo DS.

To make some story on this, this machine has virtually sold out everywhere. I went at lunch to Best Buy, they had a box with 20-30 machines.. held one in my hand and decided "not to buy."  But then in the evening talking with some co-workers we all got pumped up for it, went to that Best Buy and "We are sold out. we sold the last one 1 hour ago."

We called Frys- same thing. I called the Best Buy were I live - same thing. It ocurred to me then that the normal populace wouldn't think of a place that carry them... that there will be a "lag" until they realize they also sell it - we called Circuit City... they had 6.

We got into our cars ASAP and went there.  I piked one, my other two coworkers picked theirs.  And I knew it, I saw it coming - bang! buyer's remorse.

But why the buyer's remorse?

My thinking:

* I really don't have much free time in my life lately... and...

* I have a Gameboy SP with two games to play... the SP is still nice and far more portable with better battery life and...

* There really isn't any killer DS titles yet (except for Mario 64 for those who haven't played it yet)... and...

* It's $150 friking bucks. That's some cash even if the machine "it's a good deal" and...

* The machine looks ugly, though not anywhere near as ugly as in a website or pictures and...

* I know already..  I know it will happen, that I will *HAVE* to get a Sony PSP even if the battery life is a scant 4 hours (if it's less than that then I'll reconsider).  For all the dual screen boasting Nintendo does, the PSP's wide screeen more than makes up for it. I already saw a game using an area for the game and the right 1/5th of the screen to show some stats/map/whatever... it's like having a "dual screen" but as a single screen....

So... well... um....  The DS's nice it's just that um... GRR.. I hate buyer's remorse.

I

VIDEO GAMES - Half life 2 finished.

So I could play it on my laptop afterall. Depending on the scenarios I found myself compusively cranking the settings all the way up to admire the beauty of the levels I could run fine at that setting, and near all the way down (or to the middle, more accurately said) when I wanted the gameplay to take charge.

Best thing this game does: throws you in a believable environment.  Physics engine used to very good effect for the gameplay, not as a "look, we can break stuff just because we can!" kind of show off way.

But not only the physics help here, but the characters, the level art/modelling, the scripting, the events.

Worst thing: The game really doesn't explain much of many things that truly demand an explanation. I just can't see the connection in a logical fashion of what is going on in City 17 and what happened at Black Mesa.  And if they intend to explain it all in Half Life 3 in 5 years.. well... sorry..  I am dissapointed actually.

The ending of the game has a nice climax, but it leaves just so many unanswered questions....  So that to me was a let down.

- Raist

PS: This is a game I intend to replay when I get a new machine, eventually.

MY LIFE - when a lighbulb doesn't turn on...

I think one of the easiest ways to relate to the feeling of something that is there, you expect it to work but now it doesn't is when you go into your room, flick that light switch and the light bulb blows up.  It's quick, it happens, you expected it on, it didn't happen, and no amount of whining, bitching, denial, whatever will bring it back at that moment.

So today, I went in, flicked the switch and ... it's no more.

My boyfriend and I broke up.

I was not exactly surprised, but I did not exactly expect it. I spelled it out, but he called it. The End(tm)

And it sucks.

And I cried very hard.

And I felt very bad. 

I still feel bad.

And I was told it's not my fault- that on the other side, between several juggling acts He doesn't feel like he has time for a relationship right now.

And I still feel bad.

He's.. gone.. that very last moment where you hold each other knowing it won't happen again.

-----

I am sure there are things I can learn from all this. One in particular I want to make sure I learn, but for that I need to ask my other ex.... something I have heard now twice, with a different tint, but probably it's the same.

Two exes now mark my life.

And tomorrow, a personal day off.

VIDEO GAMES - Half Life 2...

Ok ok.. I gotta say there's one thing that has surprised me so far more than anything, and I have only played for a scant 1 minute...

APPARENTLY THIS GAME CAN RUN QUITE DECENTLY WELL ON MY LAPTOP WITH FAIRLY HIGH SETTINGS!

Wow.. I gotta say who would have thought such a feat possible.. 800x600, 32 bits, on a 2.2 P4 -M with a geforce 5600 FX Go.... it apparently *CAN* RUN.  The only "advanced" settings I am missing here is the "water reflects everything" (game recommends the most simple reflections) any antialiasing + any kind of anisotropic filtering.

Maybe my standards have lowered but frankly, considering the game defaulted everything else to high from models to pixel shaders, I am pretty impressed.  Allright, I have only played a scant 1 minute but I remember the Doom 3 experience: 8-12 fps from the get go at 640x480.

MY LIFE - Some of my underlying principles of skepticism....

The other day I was talking to my boyfriend about a conversation I had with a co-worker on faith, beliefs ("legends" of the net or otherwise), prophecy, psychich events, etc.  I realize I have two (and probably more) very simple principles that boild down to:

"Everything I have heard about God, is through the word of men" (or women)

"Every 'prophet' I heard about, that 'knows what s/hes talking about' and 'has prophetiziced stuff that was corroborated true later on' - is always a prophet of past events"

So there you go in case you were curious. I would add to #1 that I am very sick of "attonerney-wanna-be-of-God" on Earth.  If s/he's God for real, s/he can do it his/her self without blinking an eye or a thought.

MY LIFE - Ratchet & Clank 3 rocks!

Looks like virtually everyone except Gamespot agreed, Ratchet & Clank: Up Your Arsenal turned out to be a superb game.  In all honesty, I expected a kick ass game but not an unanimously kick ass game.  I have to say it feels good, after years of pain to see things a bit from the top.  We just had a very nice celebration for lunch and the rest of the day off… and the game is selling very very well.

And yes I took photos of it all ;-)

Kudos to my co-workers, me, the company management and all the people that in one way or another helped me learn something along my career or myself to get to this point. Thanks!